Failure or Pass
Whether tomorrow exams is going to be a failure or not, at this point i don't really give a damn anymore. My feelings for studying has long gone diminish the moment i step foot into my friend exam hall 1 year ago.
It was when im doing my first first exam papers of architecture is where i have this moment of thoughts where i knew. This school isn't the right place for me to study in, as this is going backwards to where i came from back in secondary school where i hated studying so badly. I just wanted to quit school, as all of these feeling is coming back again and it isn't really cool.
Tomorrow failure or not, i will just have to work harder in future and at least get a pass. Whether my GPA drop or not it doesn't matter to me anymore. Whether my GPA is enough for me to get a Master Degree is really depends hugely on how much motivation i got left inside my this empty tank of system, which has been running non-stop progressively to achieve my love for designing.
I do love the process of design a little masochistic but it is part of what a good design process is all about and we learn from the process.
In addition, NUS has disappointed me before i got enlisted into NUS and after admitted, they have never fail to disappoint me over and over again for many numerous reasons. Both personally & politically reasons that causes this disappointment, has really affected my mental condition in studying and starts to question myself is all of this worth it ?
At this moment/point, i really hope i pull through the next couple of years with whatever left in me. Hoping to struggle through this awful experiences of my last few years of schooling life. I just hope i don't hit my breaking point and quit school, because im not sure how many times i was close to my breaking point. And countless time that have been thinking about it, because im not sure how long more i am able to endure this.
To my worst nightmare, 5SIR was rather easier to pull through with almost lots of mental breakdown and physical torture. I seriously think 5SIR was easier.
PS: My friends that motivated and help me through this awful experiences. I really hope i dont fail at least a minimum bare pass and get myself through this torturing shit. I really thank those who have continuously helped me during my tough times and motivate me when im at my breaking point. Thanks guys.
It was when im doing my first first exam papers of architecture is where i have this moment of thoughts where i knew. This school isn't the right place for me to study in, as this is going backwards to where i came from back in secondary school where i hated studying so badly. I just wanted to quit school, as all of these feeling is coming back again and it isn't really cool.
Tomorrow failure or not, i will just have to work harder in future and at least get a pass. Whether my GPA drop or not it doesn't matter to me anymore. Whether my GPA is enough for me to get a Master Degree is really depends hugely on how much motivation i got left inside my this empty tank of system, which has been running non-stop progressively to achieve my love for designing.
I do love the process of design a little masochistic but it is part of what a good design process is all about and we learn from the process.
In addition, NUS has disappointed me before i got enlisted into NUS and after admitted, they have never fail to disappoint me over and over again for many numerous reasons. Both personally & politically reasons that causes this disappointment, has really affected my mental condition in studying and starts to question myself is all of this worth it ?
At this moment/point, i really hope i pull through the next couple of years with whatever left in me. Hoping to struggle through this awful experiences of my last few years of schooling life. I just hope i don't hit my breaking point and quit school, because im not sure how many times i was close to my breaking point. And countless time that have been thinking about it, because im not sure how long more i am able to endure this.
To my worst nightmare, 5SIR was rather easier to pull through with almost lots of mental breakdown and physical torture. I seriously think 5SIR was easier.
PS: My friends that motivated and help me through this awful experiences. I really hope i dont fail at least a minimum bare pass and get myself through this torturing shit. I really thank those who have continuously helped me during my tough times and motivate me when im at my breaking point. Thanks guys.
